What is your SUPERPOWER? YOU.
When clients come to me to help them not be who they are right now because they hate it, in some form or another, and I tell them that growth doesn't work like that, usually they don't enjoy the answer. Which I understand and can relate because I was there too.
I was at a place where I hated who I was and what I became, until down the line, when it dawned on me that the person I was hating on was the sum of choices (mostly unconscious) I made to the best of my abilities.
And since I was my own creation, how could I despise what I created?
I had no idea I was creating me with every choice of not showing up for myself, of surviving in a less than welcoming environment, coping with a pain I didn't know how to unlearn. Everything that I was and I hated was the best I could do with what I had available in the moment.
And what I had available in the moment wasn't much to work with, to be honest.
Your best and authentic self should be a goal you set because you love yourself to want better for yourself, not because you hate who you are right now.
Notice the difference in energy?
Healing cannot happen when your belief about it is that you have to fix yourself to fit into an idea of a "better version".
I have a different perspective on ones true self, which is that your true self is the reclaiming of all aspects of your consciousness that were cast away in your unconscious, becoming the shadows.
So it would only make sense that in order to become your best and true self, you have to find ways to fall in love with what feels unlovable, unacceptable, intolerable, bad and wrong within you to be able to evolve into and hence embody your highest and truest self naturally, without much resistance.
And this is a massively different and counterintuitive way to approach self transformation to what you will be taught by most of coaches, healers etc. And because its so counterintuitive, it takes a lot of courage for people to dive so deep.
But I can tell you that actual healing starts when you surrender to the reality of where you are and suspend judgment of how it should be different than how it is. You cannot heal what which you refuse to see as part of yourself, part of your story as it is in the moment.
Recognizing how you are amazing right in this moment is the catapult you need to becoming your best version. But not wanting to see that and asking for tools to enhance inner fragmentation even more just because you dislike certain aspects of you that you find unacceptable to reclaim is not at all going to help you create long lasting change. You're simply asking to mask the symptoms.
If you are in pain because you broke your arm, taking pills to numb that pain is not healing. Just because you numbed out your pain, it doesn't mean your arm is better, is it?
Once your resistance to what is melts away, you can actually start healing.
You need to be honest with yourself. Few people dare to challenge their disapproval for aspects of themselves.
This is not comfortable.
This is not easy.
But it's profound and it's real.
And it takes bravery.
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