If you're feeling stuck in a hamster wheel of negative emotions and memories, you're not alone.
Letting go of your pain, traumas and old self is a graduate spiritual practice and it makes sense to feel hard to most of us. I used to be there too, grappling with all things that I needed to let go of, but I'm going to share with you what I discovered on letting go to make your journey easier.
Because I am trauma informed (and trauma experienced too lol), I dare to say I may have a deeper and subtle understanding of biology than other people who teach letting go without being trauma and nervous system informed.
Here's what letting go actually means from what I've come to realise:
• Letting go is a process, not a goal to be achieved
Letting go of the past is not a one-time event that magically frees us from our pain. It's a process, an art of surrendering to transformation.
•To let go you need something to replace it
To truly let go, we need to replace what we're leaving behind with something better.
The Universe abhors a vacuum, and so do our minds. When we try to let go of something without a clear vision of what we want to replace it with, we often end up feeling lost and without direction. It's crucial to have a clear understanding of who we want to be and why we want to be that person before we can let go of our old selves.
Letting go requires us to undo and disintegrate our ego identity, unlearn old ways of being, and surrender to the Universe. But it's not enough to release the energy of the emotion; we must consciously choose who we want to become as part of our true self-transformation. We must align with our core values and desires and reverse engineer the becoming of that person step by step.
•Letting go is not a one-and-done deal; it's a journey towards our true selves. As we transform into the best version of ourselves, we let go of what no longer serves us. It's a gradual process that requires patience and practice. It's like shedding a skin we no longer need, but we must be mindful not to focus solely on letting go. The byproduct of our transformation is the release of the old self.
During our transformation, we may encounter aspects of our true selves that have been suppressed or ignored for too long. These fragments of our consciousness run in the background of our mind, in our subconscious, and they need our attention. We must have a conversation with them, meet their unmet needs, and help them feel safe enough to integrate back into our consciousness. Once they understand that the old way of living is no longer serving us and that there is a better way, they will start cooperating with our transformation.
•Not understanding how letting go works can turn it into a tool for denial. If we try to push away the things we're trying to let go of, we end up denying them and making them ten times stronger. Denial/suppression is the opposite of letting go, and it's essential to recognize when the thing we want to let go of arises into our conscious awareness. Only by acknowledging and accepting what needs to be released can we truly let it go.
•You can't let go because it still serves you
Sometimes, we can't let go of something because our body and mind believe it's still serving us and hence it is part of the strategy to keep you alive. In those cases, we need to examine why we're holding onto it and find a better way to meet that need. It's like holding onto a leaking raft in the middle of the ocean. We must be willing to let go of the old raft and trust that a new and better one will come to our aid.
What I personally found out, as a survivor of domestic violence, emotional and mental abuse that went on for years, was that I don't "have" to let go, I don't have to make letting go my no.1 priority or my goal because it naturally happened once I fully understood myself, my environment, my past experiences and also once I got super clear on who I wanted to be once I shedded who I once thought I was.
Watch a more in depth & related video here:
Comments