Unconditional love is not supposed to green-light abuse

I see so many people in a daze about unconditional love and rightfully so.

First, I'm going to say something unsavory, but true: our world/society/culture is not at the level of consciousness to fully grasp, allow for and understand unconditional love.

I'm not saying it's impossible, I'm saying it's rarer than we'd like to think.

So here's the dilemma: if someone continually hurts us, how can we continue loving them unconditionally without abandoning ourselves?

Too many times some hurt people demand to be loved "unconditionally" while they're hurting the very people they demand that from.

Heres the painful truth: This is not unconditional love. This is enabling.

Unconditional love is not supposed to be understood as a greenlight for abuse.

Unconditional love is not about tolerating the intolerable.

Unconditional love is not saying ok to pain, suffering and mistreatment of any kind.

If you have to abandon yourself in order to unconditionally love someone, then you're conditional towards yourself.

Unconditional love is not supposed to cancel out self love.

If you feel pain rather than love, it's trauma. It's not unconditional love.

So if you find yourself in such a damn if you do, damn if you don't scenario, know you're dealing with someone who's not taking your best interest at heart as you take theirs.

In a healthy relationship, you're not asked to give up on yourself, your needs and your dreams to be worthy of your partner's love.

If you feel you're able to unconditionally love the people in your life without losing yourself in the process, good for you, I'm really happy for you!

But if you were to ask me, I believe the healthiest way to love at the level of awareness and consciousness we are at is in a way that both partners' conditions are compatible and agreed upon freely.

That simply means taking each other's best interests at heart. That simply means honoring each other's boundaries.