If we learn as children how to put a muzzle on our emotion, how to silence it because socialization made it wrong to feel it, we will never find out what was actually trying to tell us.
If for instance we made anger wrong, we learn it’s unhealthy, unwise and bad to explore it. So we don’t know what’s truly wanting to tell us, we don’t ever go digging deeper to get to know it and get to know the deeper layer and the other emotions/pains that it hides. We are told as children “Don’t feel anger because you’ll be punished”. We were never given the tools to understand it because our parents weren’t given the tools themselves. This is passed on from generation to generation. Its not anybody’s fault that this happened, but the responsibility of the awaken person is to do something about it. I'm not saying one should act on their anger and start being overtly hostile and smash things or hurt other people. I'm talking about first of all admitting to the reality of the anger that one might feel and try to pinpoint how it feels and where you feel it in your body. Validate it and then try to understand why it was there in the first place and what it has to hide behind it. Becoming better at feeling does not mean turning a blind eye to what we don't like to feel. It means taking ourselves as a whole and understanding that every so called coping mechanism and flaw is there for a reason: to keep us safe and alive. Nothing inside us wants to harm us,even if taken at face value, one may say that it does. The reason we feel what we feel and the reason we are how we are is that at one point in our childhood we were made to feel not enough as we are and we were made to feel wrong for our authenticity. Unlearning what we were told about ourselves is to first off become familiar with story behind the emotion and therefore, behind the trauma.
Comments