The sad reality is that most adults walking this Earth don't even have a clue that who they believe they are is the result of the meanings their child self assigned to situations that were too complex to process for him/her.
Most adults walking this Earth don't even know that what they call their identity is not something they consciously chose, it was a knee jerk reaction to help them survive as children. Most adults behaviours, personality traits, beliefs are the byproduct of external influences that never took them and their needs into account as children.
Most adults live their lives in a continuous self deception, asking themselves why they feel so empty, lost, unable to enjoy life, unable to form deep intimate connections with other beings.
Most adults die with a light inside them that they had no clue existed, an untapped potential that could have supported them in becoming and embodying the highest version of themselves.
However they live a deterministic life, believing that their own reality is at the mercy of some external force, allowing things to happen to them and calling it FATE.
The painful and unfair things that happened to you when you were too young to make sense of them fragmented your consciousness. Parts of you that you weren't equipped to deal with went into the unconscious so as to help you survive. Parts of you that you made to mean were unlovable, rejectable and not enough also went into the unconscious. You were left with aspects of you that protected you, helped you cope, distracted you from this reality and were approved by the people in your life.
That's your personality/identity/ego. Left unexamined, unquestioned, unchallenged and unchecked, you bet this is roughly the same personality you have now as an adult.
With the exception of certain new adaptive strategies, new skills you learned and new behaviours you adopted, the core of who you believe you are hasn't changed much since your childhood.
Technically, it would be safe to say you're a child in an adult body. There's no wonder why, for example, you see certain 60 year old people acting like a 5 year old when their wounds are triggered and their self preservation strategies kick in.
But now coming back to what happened to you as a child - it wasn't your fault.
It was never fair to you.
Your emotional, mental and maybe even physical pain makes a lot of sense.
There is nothing wrong with it and you were never to blame for what happened to you, it was never your responsibility to understand and overcome challenges all by yourself, as a child, before you even had your cognitive faculties developed.
But now as an adult that has the capacity to fully grasp that, it became your responsibility to heal the wounds left by these tragic situations.
If you want to live a life that's worth living, that is. A life that you don't hate everytime you open up your eyes in the morning.
Choosing to embody the best version of you is your being choosing wholeness and coming back home to your true self.
Choosing to make sense of and integrate the painful things that you had to go through that split your consciousness in your childhood is the most radical form of self love one can imagine.
Choosing to embody what is true for you and about you is you owning back your free will, you owning back what has been cast away into the shadows.
The key word here is `choose`. When you were a child, you weren't able to choose freely what to become and how to navigate your life. You were the byproduct of your circumstances as I said. So by healing and hence choosing who you want to become you take back your power and the control over your destiny. You are honoring your inner child.
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