The current version of who you are is the sum of choices, unconsious or conscious that you made in the past.
Before starting to do this practice, make up your mind on who your authentic self is and the dominant feeling of this new self concept of yours. For example, for me my best self is allowing, at ease, trusting and the dominant feeling in the body is a a sensation of softness.
The first times I tried to visualize my true self, it was hard for me to let myself be that version of me.
Actually I took a long time away from social media because of the deep self transformation process I was going through.
The first times I pledged to myself to become and embody my true and highest self, my body got sick. Overnight I started having all sorts of pains and aches that weren't there in the beginning. Overnight I got UTI, cold, flu, calf strain, tension headaches, skin rashes. I can't even begin to tell you how fast my body responded to my spoken desire to step into my best self.
All of these symptoms were disowned parts of my consciousness that were hiding in the shadows and they all came out at once doing their best to protect me from this massive change. I understand their role and why they talked to me thru symptoms.
Anytime I closed to my eyes to merge with my true and highest self, as a part of the visualization exercise I was doing, I remember fears cropping up, worry or my muscles getting tense.
My true self was coming online and then going offline, intermittently because the old story of my old identity was still stubbornly clinging onto me.
And it was only by acknowledging this happening and with loving compassion that my biology, my mind and my being felt safe enough to let me stay within the higher vibration of the true self a little while longer every time I did this practice.
The journey towards embodying your best version is not as easy as simply closing your eyes and engaging your cognition, seeing with your minds eye this new and true self. Just engaging your mind is not enough to make this shift a permanent and lasting one. You need to have your body onboard with it. You need to feel in every cell what it's like to live as this true self. And your body stores your traumas, your disowned negative memories, that's why it will put up a fight when you're actively trying go let go of what feels familiar and comfortable to your body. That means it is your body that needs to feel safe to make space for this new identity to take over.
So when I say that you need to ask permission from your old self to transmute it into your new and true self I mean listening to, taking into account, validating and meeting the needs of that aspect of your consciousness may have so that your being moves into this state of wholeness without resistance.
How do you do that?
1. When you practice being your true and highest self, notice and acknowledge what's coming up for you. Is there fear, doubt, worry, self defeating beliefs that you take as being true? I'll give you my example. During my practice, an old paradigm of my inner child came online, whispering "What's the point, nothing ever works out for me anyway?" and I immediately saw in my minds eye a little girl with her head bowed down, helpless, alone and unsupported, trying so hard to figure out everything by herself. And that's true. Growing up I had no advocates, no one that would take interest in me or the things I loved that weren't approved of. So all the things I wanted to do I had to figure out by myself. It was a constant struggle. And because I had no support from my parents, I was forced to give up. No wonder then why I cultivated this unconscious personal belief that turned into a personal truth (because I believed it to be true) that nothing ever works for me. So my part as the adult self, upon seeing this child in my visualization practice so defeated was to make her feel safe, to assure her of my unconditional love and presence and tell her that now she does have support in achieving what she wants to do. And that support is me, the adult self.
I showed her how throughout our childhood, we were taught that we depended on other people choosing for us, hoping that those choices won't hurt us. I showed her how that changed now as I'm a grown up with autonomy, independence and capacity to think for myself and choose for myself. Nobody else has the right to do that for me. So because I have the power to do what I want and what is true for me, I can ask for support, I can find resources, I can fail and try again as many times as I want to. Nobody's gonna stop me. And I didn't know I had this power back then. As a little girl I believed I was at the mercy of the outside world and I couldn't even imagine having the freedom to choose. This is why choosing is such a core teaching of mine, because it is only when we awaken to the fact that we have free will and we get to decide who we are and what we do with our lives, thats when everything shifts for us. And it did for my inner child too. She understood that her best interests are my best interests and that her wishes were my command and so she allowed me to take her on this new and exciting journey of becoming a higher and more empowered version of us. One of the things I told her was "I cannot do this without you. I cannot do this without your permission. I want us to have a better, more abundant and fulfilling life and I know you want this too because it's by letting this transition to our true self happen that you and I will be able to make our dreams come true. Would you like that?" And of course she agreed.
This is my personal process of entrainment of consciousness aspects stuck in the past into the present and then into the future.
2. This is not a one time process. You need to do this multiple times until the new paradigm of being settles into your body, mind and soul and locks into your cells.
To give you an analogy, imagine riding a bike and crossing its wires in such a way that by turning right the handlebar pivots left and by turning left, your handlebar turns right. Your procedural memory, which is the implicit memory that helps you remember how to do things and it will help you automate certain skills or habits, like riding a bike for example, your procedural memory will not let you turn right if your intention is to go left. It's the opposite to what you told your brain to memorize all your life. So don't expect this to be easy. Slow, self paced learning is the best type of learning.
Your true self which by definition is your best self awaits you on the other side of choosing to enter into this new way of living step by step by step by step.
When you do this practice & remnants of the old self teach out to you, witness what's a going on without resisting it or attempting to change that.
Anytime resistance bubbles to the surface when you try to feel into this new self, chant out loud or in your mind I give myself permission to become what I'm meant to be. I am safe to be the best version of myself. Repeat this often enough until you sense the shift into your consciousness. Sit and bask in this feeling of your new and best self for as long as you can. It teaches your body that it's safe to welcome and invite in this new and unknown way to show up in the world.
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