We're told that truth & authenticity are valued and everyone, if asked, believes being authentic is of the utmost importance. You see everywhere signs telling you to "Be yourself" and all this sappy, meaningless advice. However few people *know* what authenticity a.k.a "being yourself" actually entails and how much the idea of authenticity is actually distorted by societal expectations/programming. Here's 3 common misconceptions about authenticity:
1. Being authentic is being rude
In the beginning of my healing journey, when I didn't know much about authenticity, I acted like a jerk. Because I mistook authenticity & living in my truth with being rude, condescending and just disrespecting people simply because I was triggered and defensive. And so I believed being authentic gave me free pass to react however I felt in the moment.
My tip is to always take the other's best interest at heart when you deliver your truth. That doesn't mean that you're responsible for how they receive that truth, it simply means don't be an a**hole when you tell your truth. Be compassionate. Be kind. Be gentle. AND still stay true to you.
2. Being authentic is being different
Being different shouldn't be the premise. Uncovering who you are and expressing that as such should be the premise.
Another myth I believed was that being authentic equates being different than others at all costs, flashy, in-your-face weird and a show off. I was yet again trying to fit into another box, this time one called authenticity. I didn't know that if it doesn't sit right and if it is not part of who I naturally am, I should not force myself to be that.
3. Being authentic is being rebellious
Standing up for yourself and your truth, standing up for what is right, for your values is NOT the same as embodying an identity of rebellion for the sake of it. There are times that require that we do so and there are times when that is not the case. Being discerning of these two instances is important. But if you find yourself being & acting rebellious indiscriminately that only means you NEED something to rebel against. But then the question that naturally arises is who are you when there is nothing to rebel against? What happens? If you are someone who built their identity around rebelling, you are not authentic, you are in a fight response against a perceived threat.
Being authentic is not a a walk in the park if being inauthentic is what you built your entire life around. If you want more from life and being who you're expected to be is no longer enough for you, it's your cue to start the journey back to yourself. Don't fall into the trap of molding yourself into what the definition of authenticity or societal expectations of authenticity tell you is the right way to be.
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